Styles P & Adjua
Styles P & Adjua are the couple of Marriage Boot Camp with the most to lose and the most invested in their relationships. Styles even called them "the forever couple in the house." Married for 13 years and together for 24, there is no doubt that this is a couple who has made it through a few storms but have still chosen that each other is worth the fight. They came into the show knowing that their relationship lacks romance, ultimately crowning themselves “Unlit.” But by the end of their learning experience, these two recommit to one another and unlock the key to a healthier and future together that includes sex and intimacy: communication. It took them some time and a huge blow up that almost ended it all, but boot camp got them to present each other with a ring on day ten and continue the work at home. They are a couple that represents that learning that actually happens at boot camp.
Here's a look at some of the key moments of their learning journey.
Day 1
Exercise: Awarded & Dishonored
On day one, Styles P and Adjua declare that they are at boot camp seeking help with romance and getting their spark back. Verbatim, Adjua says their “marriage is boring. It’s old, it’s boring, it’s stale and we need to have more fun and more passion. I feel like he’s not putting in the effort that he used to put in. There’s no romance at all.” Later they reveal that a source of frustration in their relationship is the loss of their daughter to suicide for years ago. During the Awarded and Dishonored ceremony, they are rightfully crowned “Unlit.” Styles takes the blame for that award as the one not being romantic. But earlier in the day, we see that the two may have another issue surrounding communication. While having a discussion about whether or not they believe men can communicate, Adjua interrupts styles while he’s talking to the group and becomes an example of why he may not be able to communicate.
Day 2
Broken Record & Mic Drop
On day two, during the Broken Record exercise, it is clear that they have more issues to worry about than sex and intimacy. Their blame boards confirm that communication is one of their top issues, displayed through their arguing. Styles P feels that Adjua’s “mouth is crazy.” She then adds trust as another major issue they face after his infidelity. Styles then expresses in their couples interview that he takes the blame all of the time in their relationship when he shouldn’t. Later in the exercise, Styles starts crying about how he loves her more than himself but has treated her wrong although he never wants to hurt her. This solidifies that he has an investment in the relationship but knows that there are deeper issues to address within himself.
Then at the end of the day during the Jury of Your Peers, Judge Toler expresses that she doesn’t see their troubles play out although they talk about them. Styles and Adjua then admit that they need to open up more and allow themselves to argue in the house.
Day 3
Bae Watch
While observing Adjua in a conversation with another man at the pool party, Styles reveals that he feels guilty because he cheated and she never did the same to him. “She’s a great woman,” he declares. This moment along with the tears he shed for the pain he’s caused her in the previous episode show that this is an obstacle they need to overcome. It is also broken down that through her conversations with other men at the party, she was getting peaceful and engaging energy. So, Styles vows to relax more. After this day, they have more specific tasks to work on: Styles' guilt and Adjua's need for calming energy from him.
Day 4: Pt. 1
Shock Mode & Shocked and A-Mazed
Day four is an aha moment for Adjua and Styles P. They start arguing early in the morning over a boundary he set before they came to boot camp in terms of what he wasn’t willing to discuss on the show. This boundary surrounds his work and Adjua believes it’s a source of tension that he brings home to her, making it something to address. This argument then turns into Styles disrespecting Adjua and planning to leave boot camp. In this moment, it’s revealed that he doesn’t know how to talk to his wife. He either walks on egg shells to avoid causing her any more pain or he snaps. By snapping, he ultimately disrespecting her, disrupting her peace, and causing her pain. This explains the dynamic of their relationship where Adjua is always able to express herself and Styles doesn’t know how to do that, especially after losing their daughter and frustrations being high. He’d “rather be angry than be depressed.”
Dr.Ish comes in to de-escalate the situation and conducts a one-on-one that puts things into perspective for them. He lets them know that they possibly won’t have another chance at repairing things given the major changes in their relationship over the years. He explains that they have everything to lose if they don’t commit to this process. And in order to save their relationship, Styles has to be willing to go through the pain and uncomfort instead of around it in order to get to the other side. In the end, they stayed and chose to fight for one another by recommitting to boot camp. Ultimately, they realized that they can’t hide in order to heal.
Day 4: Pt. 2
Shock Mode & Shocked and A-Mazed
Once the day officially begins and exercises are underway, Styles is pushed to confront not being more vocal in his relationship with the shock mode activity. He sees that Adjua isn’t afraid to express herself and has no problem shocking him whereas he is still trying to shield her from any more pain. He’s expressing himself more freely but is still holding back his shocks. This speaks to the root of their communication issues and him not wanting to push through the pain and uncomfort, preferring to avoid it when he can.
When it came time for the Shocktackle course, their performance during this exercise displayed what happens when they’re in sync, working through their issues as a team instead of fighting about them. Their cast mate Stew was in amazement that “they moved in the best rhythm like they could teach a class on how to escape a terrifying situation with you and your boo.”
Their response to this moment was that they were able to not fight and “work together through the adversities,” which capitalized off of their strength as a couple who knows “when to fight and when not to fight.” They were reminded that there’s still hope for them.
Day 7
The Naked Truth & Felt Up
Just like the one-on-one that changed it all, they have another needed convo during a group exercise. While participating in the Felt Up exercise, they work through what sex was like when they first got together versus after infidelity, how things changed and why. This was a touchy subject. But with the use of their puppets, they were able to have a long overdue talk about their appreciation for each other followed by an apology from Styles. Their exchange of “I love you” and the overall transparency of this conversation in front of the group was a model display of intimacy. The communication skills they were given with the exercises of day six start to seep in where they are better equipped to hear one another and Styles becomes more open to talking freely. This moment was a glimpse of their learning and the beginning of them fixing the top issue that they came in with: sex and intimacy, which go hand in hand.
Day 9 & Day 10
Lie Detector & Put A Ring On It
The Lie detector exercise allowed them to ask two questions connected to two major adversities in their relationship that they needed clarity on before moving forward. Styles P asked Adjua if she blamed him for their daughter's death. Her answer was no with no deception indicated. Adjua asked if he had feelings for the woman he had an affair with. He said no and there was deception indicated. Lifting another source of pain off of Adjua and guilt off of his shoulders helped further set them up for the rest of their road to recovery after boot camp. Also, Adjua reacted calmly to finding out that he lied in his test. At this point, she admits that she knew something was there because she knows her husband wouldn’t just sleep with someone else without an emotional connection. Ultimately, she’s cool as long as he doesn't talk to the mistress anymore. This symbolizes that she’s moving on from the past for the sake of their future together.
Later, at the ring ceremony they choose to stay together, claim they'll never leave each other, and decide to continue improving their relationship.
Secrets Revealed
Bonus Episode: BTS and Updates
Styles P mentions that he’s glad he didn’t leave after their infamous fight: “I’m so glad we stayed. The jewels I got from Dr. Ish are something I’ll run with for the rest of my life.” As they give their updates, Adjua also declares that they're still using their tools from boot camp and have even made improvements in the romance department.
