Daily Exercises
Each day, the group engages in exercises designed to teach them skills for a healthier relationship while embodying the realities of hip-hop culture. These exercises focus on general problem areas in relationships which include: identifying their top issues, assigning blame for their issues, jealousy and needs, fighting, secrets and outside opinions, communication, sex and intimacy, childhood trauma, the past versus the future, and the big decision --staying together or going their separate ways. The cast participates in these exercises as a couple or as individuals in front of the entire group or sometimes separated into groups of five. These activities have hand crafted details specific to each person or couple that help reveal to them where their relationship stands. The feedback they get on their performance in these exercises reveal the extent of the work they need to do and focus their efforts on more specific points of contention in their relationships. They are scaffolded with questions and comments by Dr. Ish and Judge Toler that push them to continue doing the work, provide them with new perspectives, and arm them with specific tools or practices to help them achieve healthier relationships. Some issues and feedback may be more geared towards specific couples but all benefit from this process. In the end, they walk away with a toolbox that will help them fix their current issues and those that may arise later on, even if some of those tools are simply experiences of other couples that they witnessed.
Day 1
Exercise: Awarded & Dishonored
Dr. Ish declares that this group is no stranger to red carpets and award shows as members of the hip-hop community but they've "never been honored quite like this.” He introduces this exercise as a night that they'll want to forget and sets the tone for a negative experience. This exercise honors each couple as the winner of an award category based on their most pressing relationship issue. They then play interview footage of the couple separately talking about their relationship experiences that prove why they’re the winner of this award. The awards are: Most Turnt Up, FOMO, Ill Communicated, Unlit, and Ride or Die.
Day 2
Broken Record & Mic Drop
During the first exercise of the day, Broken Record, the cast engages in crate digging for records whose covers sport their top five relationship issues. Later in the day during the Mic Drop exercise, they have to write a rap in 30 minutes to explain to their partner why they blame them for the top five issues in their relationship that they identified earlier in the Broken Record activity. They then perform these songs with their spouse on stage, creating a cypher battle.
Day 3
Bae Watch
This curated pool party consists of half of the group in attendance with invited guests as the other half surveils their spouse in this scenario. Those in attendance have no idea they're being watched. The purpose of the exercise is to "tap into that green eyed monster called jealousy" to see what partners do when their needs aren't met at home.
This party was designed to immerse couples into jealousy with guests who were hand picked to have characteristics they expressed they wanted from their spouse. One half got to see what it was like to have their needs met and the other half got to see what its like when their partner's needs are met.
Day 4
Shock Mode & Shocked and A-Mazed
This day is all about fighting. In the Shock Mode drill, the couples are strapped down into an electrically charged chair. While seated, Dr. Ish asks them about an issue that makes them fight to incite a disagreement. Any time their partner is saying something that’s hurting them, angering them, they have the option to give their partner a physical shock.
“Every couple fights...The purpose of this drill is to let our couples know that the things you say and the things you do have a consequence for your partner. They feel that. And if they’re feeling it, you’re feeling it.” - Dr. Ish
The second exercise of the day was Shocked and A-Mazed aka The Shocktacle Course, which is laced with electrical wires. Each couple has to complete this shock obstacle course together. They must pick a hand and stick to it, If any time they let go of each other, Dr. Ish increases the voltage. The voltage on this course is predetermined by the amount of times each couple shocked each other during the Shock Mode exercise.
Day 5
Social Media Junket
These couples share their relationships with millions of people as public figures and that comes with millions of opinions.
In this exercise, the couples sit on a panel and press asks them questions based on their social media posts laced with assumptions. The drill as a whole is about exposing secrets and testing how they respond in the face of others’ opinions. Will they own their actions or stand their ground?
Day 6
Stuck On You & Drunk Leading the Drunk
With an oversized t-shirt and pants to share, each couple has to stay in this outfit together all day until told otherwise. Not only are they forced to do their everyday activities together, they are also given specific tasks to complete as a unit.
“Day 6 is all about communication and the best way for me to see what their issues are is for me to put them through a series of stress tests specifically designed for each couple’s personality while they’re joined at the hip.” - Dr. Ish
Once the couples are finally able to ditch their clothes, they are to complete the Drunk Leading the Drunk exercise. There is an obstacle course and one partner wears drunk goggles as they complete it while their partner guides them with instructions through a megaphone. Then they switch roles and the other partners complete the course going back the opposite way. The winners of this course are not determined by the fastest time but by clear communication and teamwork. In the end, Dr. Ish gives them the 5 C's for healthy communication and assesses where they're struggling.
Day 7
The Naked Truth & Felt Up
This entire day is about sex & intimacy and the importance of honesty & trust when discussing this topic. For The Naked Truth, the couples play a game where they answer questions specifically about sex that are posed by a deck of cards full of questions. If they choose not to answer the question they picked in front of the group, they have to remove an article of clothing. The importance of this exercise is for them to practice talking about their needs in the bedroom.
Later in the day, there's the Felt Up exercise where each boot camper has a custom puppet that looks like them. The goal is for them to use these puppets to act out their sexual experiences with their spouse to explain their sexual history and express current needs. Prompted by Dr. Ish to act out specific things, they have a bed and props at their disposal.
“Powerful and sexy images are a big part of hip hop. But do our couples’ sex lives really live up to the hype. Discussing issues in the bedroom is hard for couples so I use puppets to make it more playful and easier to express what their problems really are.” - Dr. Ish
Day 8
Scarred for Life & Your Heart On Your Sleeve
The cast tackles their childhood traumas through both of these exercises. Separated from their spouses into two groups, scarred for life engages psychotherapy where they create tattoo stencils that put them back into the moment of one good memory from childhood and two bad ones that changed them. They then explain what these drawings represent in front of the group. Later in the night during Your Heart on Your Sleeve, children role play as the younger versions of the cast to talk through each person’s traumas in dialogue with Dr. Ish. This is conducted in front of the whole group, allowing their spouses to see the traumas that they carry as well. The children then reveal the tattoos they drew earlier are tattoos on the bodies of their younger selves. Lastly, they cast gets the opportunity to tell their younger selves what they wish they knew and needed to hear at that age in order to heal.
Day 9
Lie Detector
Judge Toler introduces polygraph examiners who will test each boot camper as an attempt to answer the dire questions looming over each couple. Throughout the entire 10-day experience, each person has posed questions to their spouses in their confessionals. They are asked to present the questions they settled on and Judge Toler has the right to refine/replace the questions if they don’t speak to their biggest relationship issues. This exercise is an opportunity for each spouse to clarify things before they move forward and decide to stay together or go their separate ways during their ring ceremony.
Either way, this is their chance to leave the past in the past and take control of their futures.
Examiners set up in their rooms and half of the group gets tested at a time. The couples also don't get their results until the next day. And even after that, some boot campers are given to opportunity not to see their spouse's answers. Lingering things along plays into the fact that "boot campers’ reactions before and after the results are often more important than the answers themselves” as Dr. Ish explains.
Day 10
Put A Ring On It
This is a symbolic ring ceremony not made to be an actual wedding or proposal (although some may use this as an opportunity to propose). The idea is that each couple makes their decisions to stay together or leave apart based on the tools they've received at boot camp.
Both present ring boxes to each other at the same time to reveal their decision. If a ring is inside, they stay together. And if not, they leave the house as no longer a couple. As they reveal their decisions, they explain the current stage of their relationship and what they need from their partners.
